Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
