This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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