Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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