they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
