It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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