I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
