i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
