now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
