theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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