I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
