Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
