idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
