school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
