I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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