NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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