dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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