Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
