There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
