do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
