Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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