But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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