Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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