Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
