If i come over, it means nothing
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
