Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
