when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
