holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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