walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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