I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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