We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
