I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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