I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize