Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
