guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
