So drunk its hurt
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize