I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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