I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
