Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
