We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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