Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
