The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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