If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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