He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize