Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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