YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
