So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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