i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize