jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
