I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize