Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
