i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize