Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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