No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
