I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
