Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
