I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
