no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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