Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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