I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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