she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
